Guybrush: 'Well, I've finally got a crew, a map, a ship, and finally got Elaine back... So what say we head on to Blood Island! To lift the curse and save Elaine! How about it, guys? Let's get moving towards Blood Island! Let's head on out and find our fortune! Guys? *Guybrush turns towards the camera / player* This might be more difficult than I first imagined.'
Part III - Three Sheets To The Wind
Haggis: 'Arrgh! The sea'
Bill: 'Aye, the sea'
Edward: 'Makes you glad to be alive!'
Guybrush: 'I think that ship is following us'
*Another ship sails alongside the Sea Cucumber and the camera pans out*
Bill: 'Feel that salty spray'
Haggis: 'The sunlight sparkling off the bay'
Edward: 'What a glorious, sea-faring day'
Guybrush: 'It's a pirate ship, we've got to out run her. All right, men! Are you with me?
Bill: 'Hey! Look guys! A whale!'
Haggis: 'Where?'
Edward: 'Where?'
Guybrush: 'That ship is gaining on us. Cutthroat Bill! Rig the topsail!'
Edward: 'Is that a Right whale?'
Haggis: 'No, no lad'
Guybrush: 'They're boarding us! Crew! Help me out here!'
Bill: 'It is a member of the cetus suborder mysticeti, though'
Edward: 'I think you're right'
*Back on board the Sea Cucumber, the Captain Rottingham (whose hair was cut off by Haggis because of the lice Guybrush put onto the comb back at the start of the game in the barbers) boards the ship.*
Captain Rottingham: 'Well, well...'
Guybrush: 'Rottingham! So it's you! What do you want, other than a good toupee?'
Captain Rottingham: 'I've come for your map to the fabled Blood Island. Then I'll find the diamond you mentioned. It will make a fine paperweight for my escritoire'
Edward: 'Ooooh! Look! It's breaching!'
Bill: 'Oooooh!'
Haggis: 'Ah!'
Guybrush: 'Look baldy, I'll never give you that map! I need it to save Elaine!'
Captain Rottingham: 'Then I'll have to take it from you by force!'
Edward: 'That whale must be thirty point five meters (one hundred feet)... and weigh two-hundred metric tons'
Captain Rottingham: 'You know, of course... in a swordfight, a sharp wit is much more important than a sharp blade'
Guybrush: 'Of course! Everybody knows that, chrome dome! Let's get this over with.'
*Cue music change and for insults to start*
Captain Rottingham: 'Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!'
Guybrush: 'Oh, yeah! Well... You fight like a cow!'
*As you can see, Guybrush is not very well versed in the art of insult swordfighting, something he will need to improve on if he is to keep his precious map of Blood Island against the overwhelming wordsmanship of Rottingham*
Captain Rottingham: 'No, no, no, no. That's not right at all.'
Guybrush: 'What?'
Captain Rottingham: 'On the sea we fight it a little differently. On the sea, all your insults and threats have to... RHYME!'
*NB. Very Important: Make a note of this statement! You will need to remember this in future sword fights*
Guybrush: 'What!?'
Captain Rottingham: 'So when I say, 'Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated!'... you say...'
Guybrush: '... I once found some gold but it was just electroplated'
Captain Rottingham: 'NO!! You say, 'With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.' Let's try that again, shall we? You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee'
Guybrush: 'Uhhh...'
Captain Rottingham: 'I'm waiting!'
Guybrush: 'I... I...'
*Rottingham attacks Guybrush with his sword, leading to Guybrush's sword falling to the deck behind him and Rottingham winning the duel*
Captain Rottingham: 'Just as I thought. You're an amateur with a sword. Give me that map!'
Guybrush: 'Uh... here! Take it!
*Guybrush hands Rottingham the map which he earlier peeled off the sunbather's back. Rottingham is disgusted*
Captain Rottingham: 'That's your map? Eeeeew! As soon as I'm through pirating these waters, it's off to Blood Island! Until we meet again M. Tweephood'
*Rottingham's ship sails off into the distance and the camera pans back to the deck of the Sea Cucumber where Haggis, Edward and Bill are now around Guybrush*
Guybrush: 'I've got to get that map back or we'll never find Blood Island... Thanks Guys. You were a world of help back there.'
Bill: 'It was a rousing battle, Cap'n!'
Haggis: 'Aye, and it reminds me of a song...'
*Cue a chorus of singing from the crewmen. Guybrush is not impressed and nothing he says makes any difference until a few responses down the line where Guybrush can say 'We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange' - now, as everyone knows, no word rhymes with orange, so this stumps Haggis, Edward and Bill. Cue a sigh of relief from Guybrush*
Haggis then asks Guybrush what kind of captain Guybrush would like to be, either a man of action and complete control, or one who prefers to concentrate more on the thinking aspects of captaincy. Haggis forewarns the former of these two types of captains will face a difficult route, one of ship to ship combat in an attempt to defeat other scoundrel pirates. The latter of these two types of captains is shown to be easier, with the other pirate vessels less aggressive. You have a choice between the two of these options.
The route I will take you down will be the 'tough sea battle' option. The latter option will be similar to the banjo duel with Edward, with less insults needed to win the sword fights.
*Challenging ship combat is is!*
If you ask Haggis for help in sword fighting, he initially doesn't want to help you out. But if you keep on pushing him for help then finally he comes to his Scottish senses and accepts your plea for help. This changes the ship combat from challenging to easy. You can change this back to take full control of the ship though by just talking to Haggis again.
Examine the navigational map and find ships marked with a '?' - stay clear of Rottingham's ship until you have better weapons.
The first ship you come across only take one hit with your broadside cannons to defeat them. You are met by a beaver-toothed captain who welcomes you with the phrase: 'Get off me deck, ya sea-slug'. Use the two phrases you had used on you in your previous sword fight with Rottingham. The captain has no retorts for these and merely responds with a feeble 'I'm shaking, I'm shaking' - Once these two phrases are used however, you are stuck with childish retorts such as 'You're ugly' and 'You're stupid'. You end up losing your first fight, but don't be disheartened, you have picked up several more phrases to use in future combat.
Once you study the map again, you do not have to defeat the pirate ship in naval combat again, you are transported on board their ship immediately, faced with the same smug captain. Use the phrases he used on you last time round. He has no response to these either other than 'I'm shaking, I'm shaking'
Retorts:
Every enemy I've met I've annihilated - With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee - I look that much like your fiancee?
Killing you would be justifiable homicide - Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide
I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet - When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet
I'll hound you night and day - Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Would you like to be buried or cremated - With you around, I'd rather be fumigated
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified - Is that your face? I thought it was your backside
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated - Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated and infuriated
You can't match my witty repartee - I could, if you would use some breath spray
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died - The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified - At least mine can be identified
You're the ugliest monster ever created! - If you don't count all the ones you've dated
En garde! Touche! - Oh, that is so cliche!
I can't rest 'til you've been exterminated! - Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated
--------------------------------------
Upon gaining some booty after winning one or two sword fighting duels with other ship captains, head back to Plunder Island. Here you find Kenny again. But this time he is selling weaponry for upgrading your ship. From your first two duels and with the treasure you looted from these victories, Kenny can offer you 'the complete line from Bob's Big Bore Boomer Brand Cannon, Inc': Entry level: 'Buccaneer's Buddy', the 'Ouch Master', the 'Holemaker Deluxe', the 'Paingiver 2000', 'Mr Massacre', and those used by Captain Rene Rottingham himself, the 'Destructomatic T-47' (has armor piercing Carnage Delivery System with auto-loading and fax-modem)
You will have to go for the Buccaneer's Buddy cannons to start with if you have only defeated one ship. You go up in the cannon ranking system the more ships you defeat. I have defeated two ships so far, so I have now got the Ouch Master cannons! My treasure hold is now empty. Now we need to find some more pirate ships to loot.
Level 3 ship has a captain with a green handkerchief as a hat and a golden ring on his ear. You have 6 different levels of cannons which you can choose from. My advice is to go to buy a new set of cannons after each ship you have defeated, and captain you have forced to give up their treasure, in case you lose a sword fight at a future date and have to give up your treasure. Make sure you go to each ship and test out each insult you don't have a response to also so that you have an encyclopedia of insults to hurl at Captain Rottingham when you come up against him.
Once you have all your insults and your armor piercing cannons with the all important fax modem equipped on it, go and face Captain Rottingham and fight with him to get the map back!
NB. He comes out with a few new retorts so beware:
NB2. It does not matter he brings new retorts though, use the same responses you have picked up from the other captains of the pirate ships you have plundered on him. Just figure out which ones rhyme best with his insults.
NEW retorts:
My attacks have left entire islands depopulated - With your breath I'm sure they all suffocated
When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied - Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide
My skills with a sword are highly venerated - Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated
Never before have I faced someone so sissified - Is that your face? I thought it was your backside
You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey! - Then be a good dog, sit, stay
You are a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified! - At least mine can be identified!
Your mother wears a toupee! - Oh that is so cliche!
Your looks would make pigs nauseated - If you don't count all the ones you've dated
Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated - With you around, I'd rather be fumigated
I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated - Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated
I have never lost a melee - When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet
Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day - I look that much like your fiancee?
-----------------------
Once you have used a string of these retorts in response to Rottingham's insults, you will win the duel and gain the map to Blood Island back off him
Captain Rottingham: 'Sacre Bleu, I have been defeated in battle!'
Guybrush: 'So give me that map, take your ship and skedaddle!'
------------------------
Part IV - The Bartender, The Thieves, his Aunt, and her Lover
Cutscene to the Sea Cucumber struggling in the torrential rain and storms that come their way en route to Blood Island. The ship then crashes into an island and Elaine has been thrown out of the eagles nest in the ship and into the woods. Haggis explains that he, Bill and Edward are putting together a mini rebellion against Guybrush's captaincy by leaving the island once the ship has been repaired. Even his offer of a very fruitful pension plan and stock options do not sway Haggis's mindset.
Once out of the conversation with Haggis, pick up the bottle that is lying in the sand. If you try picking up the hand lotion, Haggis won't let you take it away. You will need to use it later on though so remember where it is!
If you go away from the shipwreck (to the left of the screen), you reach the main map of Blood Island. It consists of 7 areas of interest for Guybrush; a hotel, a beach, a windmill, a village, the shipwreck, a cemetery, and an outlet where Elaine has ended up after the shipwreck.
Closest to the shipwreck is Elaine. If you double click on this spot you will be immediately transported to this part of the island. There you see the the cursed statue of Elaine surrounded by fireflies and a tree stump. You will need these fireflies later on in the game. At this moment in time, you cannot do anything to change Elaine's predicament.
The hotel is immediately north of the beach. There is no real need to examine any of the outside area around the hotel so go straight into the hotel where you will find Madame Xima and a bartender. Go in to the room to the right as you enter the hotel. Pick up the Big Whoop fridge magnet. Go to the bar now. Once there, pick up the ripped cushion, some brochures and the recipe book. If you try picking up the empty jar, then you will be told off by the bartender. You will need this jar to put the fireflies in later though so you will need to find a way of getting it. Go up the stairs next to the bar. Open the first door and use the mallet you pick up in the cemetery on the nail. Pick up the nail and portrait that fell off the wall. Guybrush then pulls out the magic wand and makes the frame disappear. Now use the scissors to cut the face out of the picture. Once you have the face cut out of the picture, put the image on the mirror next to the bar. Head back downstairs and talk to the bartender. You find out he has a hangover so until you find a cure for it, he won't talk to you. In turn, talk to the fortune teller.
Madame Xima tells you a very experimental and dangerous way of how to cure a hangover: find four dozen leeches and hang the victim upside down. Once in place, build a fire using 20 gallons of alcohol and bat excrement as fuel. After this, perform a ritual around the fire.
Ask Madame Xima about the ring of blood diamond and she tells you to find the diamond in a 'dark cave, filled with evil men... a dark island in the form of a giant skull'
Then insist on getting your fortune told by her. The first card to be pulled out is 'Death'. Pick up the card that Madame Xima pulls out for Guybrush by distracting her.
The cemetery is west of the beach. Click on the red arrow at the bottom left of the screen to explore the cemetery some more. Once further explored, you find a dog with sunglasses on, in a coffin shaped dog basket. There is a chisel and mallet on the table next to the carved tombstone. Pick these both up. Once both of these are in your inventory, pick up the 'smelly dog hair' off the old dog. Don't bother talking to the dog, you won't get a response. However, do give him the half eaten, maggot infested biscuit. Examine the carved tombstone where you picked up the mallet and chisel. Once you have done all of this, then leave the cemetery.
The windmill is on the far left hand side of the island. Pick up a pepper from the pepper plant to the right of the windmill. Now, if you examine the recipe book you found at the hotel, you find 'A Pirate's First Hangover Cure' on page 8. What you need is one egg (found on the beach), a pepper (found at the windmill), and the hair of the dog that bit 'ya (found at the cemetery). We have 2 of these items at this moment, we just need to find a way to get the egg down from that tree.
From here, go to the beach. You see a rubber tree with a birds nest and a freshly laid egg perched on top of it, with rocks underneath it. All of these will be involved later in the game also. Once you have picked up the mallet from the cemetery and the cushion from the hotel, put the cushion on the bed of rocks along the beach. After this, hit the tree with the mallet and the egg will fall down onto the cushion! Now you have all three items that you need for the hangover cure for the bartender. Now go back to the hotel and give each of these items to the bartender individually (it doesn't work trying to combine any of these items so don't waste your time). You find he is Griswold Goodsoup. He explains how business is not good and how that Madame Xima is his only regular. He even says he tried to promote his hotel by selling biles of his own blood with the slogan: 'I went to Blood Island and all I got was this lousy plasma sample'.
Ask Griswold about the diamond ring of Blood Island. He says that it was sold off to smugglers on Skull Island years earlier. He mentions how there used to be a regular ferry out to the island but that the lighthouse's light broke and he was never to be seen again.
Once all the pleasantries are out of the way with Griswold, ask him for a drink. Ask for the cocktail with a decorative umbrella. You will be given a large umbrella. You can use this umbrella on the windmill to transport yourself to the top of the windmill. Now you have cured him of his hangover, you are able to pick up the empty jar as well. Use the chisel on the bottle that Griswold gave you that contained the rest of the hangover cure. This opens it up.
Now go down to the beach and fill the measuring cup with sea water. Combine the pin with the Big Whoop fridge magnet you picked up from the hotel. This makes the pin magnetic. Now use the parrot symbol and bite the cork from the bottle of shaving foam. Combine the magnetic pin and the cork and put it in the measuring cup with the sea water in. This makes a compass.
Griswold tells you that the only way to get into his Aunt's tomb is to die.
The seemingly abandoned village is in the north of the village right next to the volcano. Enter the village whenever you want to. Pick up the large block of tofu on the table next to the swan. Pick up the auger and measuring cup from the table on the right hand side of the path. Carry on down the path until you see one of the islanders in front of a bridge over the volcano. Discuss with him about the volcano, their past as cannibals, and their belief that there is a God of the volcano called Sherman. Try to convince Lemon Head to let you watch the sacrifice. After finding out it takes 4 years to become a cannibal, Guybrush says he mis-spoke and meant to say he wanted to become a cannonball. Lemon Head responds with 'You're not quite stable, are you?' You find out they are waiting for someone from another neighborhood to arrive before starting the ritual. Leave the volcano and go back to the village. Once in the village, use the auger on the block of tofu to make it into a mask. Put the block of tofu on your head and head back to the volcano.
*Cutscene - at the top of the bridge there are three villagers with masks in the shape of a lemon, banana and pineapple. The 'human' sacrifice is made out of watermelon, with bananas, carrots and sweetcorn used to define his ribs, a pair of shorts and his legs.*
Once you find out that the 'volcano god' is lactose intolerant, find the big wheel of cheese in the hotel and use the chisel to cut off a large chunk of it. Go back to the volcano wearing the tofu hat and throw the cheese into the volcano. This sparks off a chain of events that will change the course of the game. According to Lemon Head, it will bring about the Coming of the Divine Dysentery. To Griswold, it will give him back his business and the chance to get the key for the upstairs room, as well as a way into the Aunt's tomb.
Once back at the hotel, put the remaining chunks of cheese in the cooking pot. From there, go and fill the empty jar with sugar water from the barrel at the top of the windmill. Take the now full jar of sugar water and make your way to where Elaine and the fireflies are. Put the jar down on the stump and the fireflies will fly into it. Do not put the lid back on the jar just by itself. Instead, poke holes in it so there is air for the fireflies to survive. Take the newly constructed lantern over to the lighthouse. Use the mirror you took from the hotel and replace it with the broken one in the lighthouse. You now have a working lighthouse!
Remember what Griswold said about the ferry that used to take people across to Skull Island? Now the lighthouse is working, go down to the beach and you will find him there. He is the Flying Welshman. He says he won't go out to Skull Island without a compass. Guybrush, being the great innovative pirate he is, gives the compass he built earlier with the salt water, measuring cup, cork and magnetic needle.
Now we are on Skull Island. The Lost Welshman leaves you to go and search Smuggler's Cave all by your lonesome self. You meet Effete LaFoot, a temp winch operator who says he will transport Guybrush to the cave down the cliff edge. The first and second attempts at lowering Guybrush down safely to Smuggler's Cave result in disaster - Guybrush falling and hitting both cliff edge and the sharp rock tip next to it - yet he gets up as if nothing is the problem! Classic Monkey Island. As we don't have any equipment to fix the winch yet, we go back to Blood Island. Go to the cemetery where we meet Mort, the man who we previously caught a glimpse of when we took the pin out of the floor of the Voodoo lady's place on Plunder Island. He shares the same philosophy as Griswold in saying the only way Guybrush would stand any chance of getting into the Aunt's tomb would be to 'drop dead.'
Head back to the hotel, order a drink, and spike it with the leftover hangover cure. This puts Guybrush in a coma-state. Mort comes in to take him away to put him in the crypts.
Griswold: 'I guess that's the end of the game then'
Mort: 'What with him being the main character and all. Funny, I didn't think you could die in LucasArtsTM adventure games'
Griswold: 'Well, maybe they're trying something different'
*Cutscene to Guybrush in a coffin down in the depths of the crypts*
Mort: 'Rest in peace and all that'
*You scored 0 out of 800 points*
*Copyright 1997 LucasArts*
Guybrush convinces the production crew he isn't dead and the game restarts with him in the crypt in the coffin down in the bottom right. Use the chisel to hammer the coffin lid open. Once out of the coffin, pick up the nails from the coffin and open up the middle coffin which is the one making the banging sound. Once opened, a stripey suited, bowling shoe wearing salesman with arms that flap about more than a birds wings mid flight pops out the coffin. He (Stan) gives you a spiel about life insurance and how being locked in the coffin that Guybrush put him in in the previous game has given him a whole new perspective on life.
Head back to the hotel now to find both Griswold and Madame Xima utterly unmoved in seeing Guybrush 'come back to life'. Talk to Griswold and ask why you weren't buried in his Aunt's tomb when you 'died'. He explains how you have to be a member of the Goodsoup family tree to be buried there. Convince him that you are his long lost nephew, Wonton Goodsoup. You will need to enter the room that is locked in the upstairs hallway of the hotel. Use the laminated business card to pick the lock.
Once you are in the room, pull the bed down to unveil a skeleton with a book on its lap. Pick the book up to find it is the Goodsoup Family History. When you try to pick up the book though, the bed folds back up. To resolve this, use the nails you picked up from the coffin on the bed to hold it in place. You'll need one more nail to hold it in. Thankfully, you have a nail from the picture that Guybrush knocked down in the hallway. Now pick up the book and examine it. Go downstairs to talk to Griswold again. He still doesn't believe your story, so head back upstairs and put the cut out portrait you knocked down earlier on the door, enter the room, and put your face up against the porthole. Once you do this, Griswold comes up and admires his family portraits. Once he has finished looking at the portraits, go down and talk to him and he will see that you now bear some resemblance to his great-grandfather C. Lambert Goodsoup. Further the conversation and talk more about the family heritage. This will finally convince him to take you under his wings as a member of the Goodsoup family tree.
Repeat the experiment that made you have a semi coma last time round, mixing the remaining hangover cure with a drink ordered from Griswold. Guybrush immediately falls to the floor, seemingly dead to both Griswold and Wally... again! Griswold wants to give Guybrush a proper, Goodsoup burial. Hey presto! You've got into his Aunt's tomb! On the left, there is a 'crumbling hole' which Guybrush can just about fit through. Climb through the hole using the 'use' button. You will be temporarily transported to one of the previous Monkey Island game screens. This is one of the many priceless nuggets that you get throughout the Monkey Island series - connections to previous games and events in the real world, as well as showing a sense that the producers had a bit of fun creating the game.
To the left of the crumbling hole, you see the Aunt's crypt which is protected by a 'ghost bride'. Talk to her. You find out that she is Minnie Goodsoup. Enquire about the diamond ring and you will find out that it was her lover, LeChuck, who pried it out of the ring itself, and sold it to the smugglers on Skull Island. You find out that Millie will never take the wedding ring off her finger until she has another ring to replace it with and that she won't leave the crypt until she is married.
Go to the left of where Minnie is and you'll find an open coffin with a crowbar sticking out of it. Pick up the crowbar as you'll need it to open the wooden planks in the upstairs room of the hotel. You will hear Murray giggling away. That skull sure does get around. Go over to examine the crack in the wall behind the coffin and Murray falls down in front of Guybrush. You can pick Murray up. Look through the crack and you'll be able to talk to Mort too. Use Murray's arm combined with the paste to pick up the lantern. Head back into the crypt and combine the lantern with Murray to scare Mort into letting you out of the crypt. The lantern runs out of oil so is now rendered useless.
Head out of the Goodsoup crypt to find that Stan has set up his business (Mutual Of Stan) in the crypt you were previously put in. Go talk to him again. Murray disappears. Stan says that you need to show him some proper collateral instead of the wooden nickels to buy some life insurance off him. Give him the gold tooth.
Now head back to the hotel and into the room where you got the Goodsoup family book from. Use the crossbar to take down the wooden planks boarding up the hole in the wall. Then use the crowbar again to pull up the nails on the bed. The hole in the wall leads right down to Goodsoup crypt. This will mean the skeleton will fall into the family crypt. Once the skeleton is flung from the room, it is apparent he is alive as he uses a parachute to fall into the crypt. Millie recognises it as Charles DeGoulash, her first love. Charles proposes to Millie and when they kiss they both go up in a puff of smoke, leaving behind the ring / engagement band Guybrush was after.
Leave the crypt to enter into a cutscene with LeChuck talking to his crew and a new character called Dinghy. He tells him to find Guybrush Threepwood and Elaine.
Head back to the hotel and you will find the death certificate for Guybrush in the back room where you found the block of cheese and Big Whoop magnet. Hand Stan the death certificate and you will receive a lot of money. Now it is time to head to Skull Island...
Go up to the cliff top and talk to Effete LaFoot. From the previous time you went to Skull Island and tried to go get taken down in the rickety elevator, you cannot get to the cliff edge by just being let down on the elevator, you have to come up with a way to float towards the smugglers cave. In turn, when you start falling down the cliff edge, go into your inventory and use the umbrella. You will end up in a treasure filled cave with two smugglers; King Andre and Cruff. Instead of wasting your time having small talk with them, tell them you have so much money it's almost embarrassing and you will get their attention. King Andre says how the Goodsoup family diamond you are after is the centerpiece of his collection.
The conversation with King Andre leads to an old school James Bond reference; 'Do you expect me to talk?' 'No, Mister Threepwood! I expect you to buy!' State how you think Guybrush and King Andre could make a deal to exchange the diamond. You will need to play poker with him and Cruff.
Rules of poker:
Five card stud. Show cards to one another and the best hand wins. Use the five tarot cards that you picked up from Madame Xima in the hotel and swap them with your weak hand. You win the game of poker but the two smugglers threaten to kill you. Effete LaFoot opens the door to say that there is someone to meet them. This leads to the lights to be blown out in the cave. Guybrush escapes with the diamond whilst King Andre and Cruff fight amongst themselves. Before leaving the island, Guybrush goes up to the cliff top and throws Effete LaFoot off the cliff. Once you reach the shore of Blood Island, the Flying Welshman says his farewells and departs.
Leave the beach and you will be transported to a cut scene. It is LeChuck hidden away in the giant monkeys head on Monkey Island. He asks where Elaine and Guybrush are and Dinghy tells LeChuck that he found both of us on Blood Island. We are now faced with lifting the curse on Elaine before LeChuck's army of undead take Elaine away from Guybrush. Go back to the shipwreck and convince Haggis that you need a little bit of lotion and he agrees to give you the whole bottle of lotion if you bring him some tar like substance to help repair the ship. Remember putting the nacho cheese on the cauldron that is cooking over the flowing lava? Go up there and pick it up. You will bring it down to Haggis and you will be able to pick up the much sought after bottle of lotion.
Now go to the clearing where Elaine is. Use the lotion on the cursed ring so that you can get it off Elaine's finger, and put the new Goodsoup family heirloom ring on to her finger so that the curse is lifted. The cursed ring explodes when you take it off Elaine's finger.
*Cutscene to Elaine finishing off her punch on Guybrush that she was unable to land earlier on in the game. Guybrush explains how he has put everything right and the curse has been lifted... Cue both Guybrush and Elaine being surrounded by LeChuck's army of the undead*
Put the newly made cake on top of the pile of meringues next to the cannon and ask the giant rat person to fire it at the mime. The anchor knocks the mime out. Now go to the right of Dinghy Dog where you will find a snow cone vendor. Ask him for a plain snow cone at the moment. Walk away but you find the snowcone melts as soon as you do that! Head over to the gate to the hole where the mime was situated before and open it. Go to the window and get the rat to fire a meringue at you. Now you have meringue in your inventory, go over to Dinghy Dog and push him six times until he bites you. Once he bites you, you have some of his hair.
Now go back to the snow cone vendor and get a snow cone. Pick up the pepper mill on the side too. Combine the snow cone, meringue and dog hair and pepper. Once you have made the disgusting concoction of a snow cone, eat it! This gives Guybrush a brain freeze, but also his height back!
Once you get on the rollercoaster, there are four dioramas you can get off at: Herman Toothrot, a snowy landscape with a giant monkey, LeChuck's torture chamber where you find Wally, and a deck of Captain Marley's ship (pick up the barrel on the ground next to Rodgers and stick it under the Giant Monkey's arm). Once you have put the keg of rum underneath the monkey's arm, LeChuck interrupts proceedings and wonders why Guybrush hasn't boiled in the lava at the end of his rollercoaster. Get off at the diorama with Herman Toothrot on and pick up the loose rope. After this, go to where Wally is and blow the lantern out with the parrot button. Pick up the flask of oil before LeChuck turns up. Soak the rope with the oil and then go to the giant monkey and attach the rope to its arm. Go down to the bottom of the diorama and LeChuck will interrupt you again. This time, blow some pepper from the pepper mill in his face before he blows a flame ball at you. He will sneeze a flame ball at the flammable rope now. Guybrush jumps in the cart and escapes whilst the mountain explodes.
*Cue another cutscene with Guybrush and Elaine in wedding attire having just got married, on board the Sea Cucumber being waved goodbye into the sunset by Haggis, Bill, Edward, Lemon Head and a chicken.*
*Another cutscene to show Murray left by his lonesome self at the Carnival of the Damned saying the following:
'Run, mortal... but do not forget your arch-nemesis Murray! Mark my words, I SHALL return to haunt you! Do you hear me? I SHALL RETURN! Bwahahahahahahaha!'
If you go away from the shipwreck (to the left of the screen), you reach the main map of Blood Island. It consists of 7 areas of interest for Guybrush; a hotel, a beach, a windmill, a village, the shipwreck, a cemetery, and an outlet where Elaine has ended up after the shipwreck.
Closest to the shipwreck is Elaine. If you double click on this spot you will be immediately transported to this part of the island. There you see the the cursed statue of Elaine surrounded by fireflies and a tree stump. You will need these fireflies later on in the game. At this moment in time, you cannot do anything to change Elaine's predicament.
The hotel is immediately north of the beach. There is no real need to examine any of the outside area around the hotel so go straight into the hotel where you will find Madame Xima and a bartender. Go in to the room to the right as you enter the hotel. Pick up the Big Whoop fridge magnet. Go to the bar now. Once there, pick up the ripped cushion, some brochures and the recipe book. If you try picking up the empty jar, then you will be told off by the bartender. You will need this jar to put the fireflies in later though so you will need to find a way of getting it. Go up the stairs next to the bar. Open the first door and use the mallet you pick up in the cemetery on the nail. Pick up the nail and portrait that fell off the wall. Guybrush then pulls out the magic wand and makes the frame disappear. Now use the scissors to cut the face out of the picture. Once you have the face cut out of the picture, put the image on the mirror next to the bar. Head back downstairs and talk to the bartender. You find out he has a hangover so until you find a cure for it, he won't talk to you. In turn, talk to the fortune teller.
Madame Xima tells you a very experimental and dangerous way of how to cure a hangover: find four dozen leeches and hang the victim upside down. Once in place, build a fire using 20 gallons of alcohol and bat excrement as fuel. After this, perform a ritual around the fire.
Ask Madame Xima about the ring of blood diamond and she tells you to find the diamond in a 'dark cave, filled with evil men... a dark island in the form of a giant skull'
Then insist on getting your fortune told by her. The first card to be pulled out is 'Death'. Pick up the card that Madame Xima pulls out for Guybrush by distracting her.
The cemetery is west of the beach. Click on the red arrow at the bottom left of the screen to explore the cemetery some more. Once further explored, you find a dog with sunglasses on, in a coffin shaped dog basket. There is a chisel and mallet on the table next to the carved tombstone. Pick these both up. Once both of these are in your inventory, pick up the 'smelly dog hair' off the old dog. Don't bother talking to the dog, you won't get a response. However, do give him the half eaten, maggot infested biscuit. Examine the carved tombstone where you picked up the mallet and chisel. Once you have done all of this, then leave the cemetery.
The windmill is on the far left hand side of the island. Pick up a pepper from the pepper plant to the right of the windmill. Now, if you examine the recipe book you found at the hotel, you find 'A Pirate's First Hangover Cure' on page 8. What you need is one egg (found on the beach), a pepper (found at the windmill), and the hair of the dog that bit 'ya (found at the cemetery). We have 2 of these items at this moment, we just need to find a way to get the egg down from that tree.
From here, go to the beach. You see a rubber tree with a birds nest and a freshly laid egg perched on top of it, with rocks underneath it. All of these will be involved later in the game also. Once you have picked up the mallet from the cemetery and the cushion from the hotel, put the cushion on the bed of rocks along the beach. After this, hit the tree with the mallet and the egg will fall down onto the cushion! Now you have all three items that you need for the hangover cure for the bartender. Now go back to the hotel and give each of these items to the bartender individually (it doesn't work trying to combine any of these items so don't waste your time). You find he is Griswold Goodsoup. He explains how business is not good and how that Madame Xima is his only regular. He even says he tried to promote his hotel by selling biles of his own blood with the slogan: 'I went to Blood Island and all I got was this lousy plasma sample'.
Ask Griswold about the diamond ring of Blood Island. He says that it was sold off to smugglers on Skull Island years earlier. He mentions how there used to be a regular ferry out to the island but that the lighthouse's light broke and he was never to be seen again.
Once all the pleasantries are out of the way with Griswold, ask him for a drink. Ask for the cocktail with a decorative umbrella. You will be given a large umbrella. You can use this umbrella on the windmill to transport yourself to the top of the windmill. Now you have cured him of his hangover, you are able to pick up the empty jar as well. Use the chisel on the bottle that Griswold gave you that contained the rest of the hangover cure. This opens it up.
Now go down to the beach and fill the measuring cup with sea water. Combine the pin with the Big Whoop fridge magnet you picked up from the hotel. This makes the pin magnetic. Now use the parrot symbol and bite the cork from the bottle of shaving foam. Combine the magnetic pin and the cork and put it in the measuring cup with the sea water in. This makes a compass.
Griswold tells you that the only way to get into his Aunt's tomb is to die.
The seemingly abandoned village is in the north of the village right next to the volcano. Enter the village whenever you want to. Pick up the large block of tofu on the table next to the swan. Pick up the auger and measuring cup from the table on the right hand side of the path. Carry on down the path until you see one of the islanders in front of a bridge over the volcano. Discuss with him about the volcano, their past as cannibals, and their belief that there is a God of the volcano called Sherman. Try to convince Lemon Head to let you watch the sacrifice. After finding out it takes 4 years to become a cannibal, Guybrush says he mis-spoke and meant to say he wanted to become a cannonball. Lemon Head responds with 'You're not quite stable, are you?' You find out they are waiting for someone from another neighborhood to arrive before starting the ritual. Leave the volcano and go back to the village. Once in the village, use the auger on the block of tofu to make it into a mask. Put the block of tofu on your head and head back to the volcano.
*Cutscene - at the top of the bridge there are three villagers with masks in the shape of a lemon, banana and pineapple. The 'human' sacrifice is made out of watermelon, with bananas, carrots and sweetcorn used to define his ribs, a pair of shorts and his legs.*
Once you find out that the 'volcano god' is lactose intolerant, find the big wheel of cheese in the hotel and use the chisel to cut off a large chunk of it. Go back to the volcano wearing the tofu hat and throw the cheese into the volcano. This sparks off a chain of events that will change the course of the game. According to Lemon Head, it will bring about the Coming of the Divine Dysentery. To Griswold, it will give him back his business and the chance to get the key for the upstairs room, as well as a way into the Aunt's tomb.
Once back at the hotel, put the remaining chunks of cheese in the cooking pot. From there, go and fill the empty jar with sugar water from the barrel at the top of the windmill. Take the now full jar of sugar water and make your way to where Elaine and the fireflies are. Put the jar down on the stump and the fireflies will fly into it. Do not put the lid back on the jar just by itself. Instead, poke holes in it so there is air for the fireflies to survive. Take the newly constructed lantern over to the lighthouse. Use the mirror you took from the hotel and replace it with the broken one in the lighthouse. You now have a working lighthouse!
Remember what Griswold said about the ferry that used to take people across to Skull Island? Now the lighthouse is working, go down to the beach and you will find him there. He is the Flying Welshman. He says he won't go out to Skull Island without a compass. Guybrush, being the great innovative pirate he is, gives the compass he built earlier with the salt water, measuring cup, cork and magnetic needle.
Now we are on Skull Island. The Lost Welshman leaves you to go and search Smuggler's Cave all by your lonesome self. You meet Effete LaFoot, a temp winch operator who says he will transport Guybrush to the cave down the cliff edge. The first and second attempts at lowering Guybrush down safely to Smuggler's Cave result in disaster - Guybrush falling and hitting both cliff edge and the sharp rock tip next to it - yet he gets up as if nothing is the problem! Classic Monkey Island. As we don't have any equipment to fix the winch yet, we go back to Blood Island. Go to the cemetery where we meet Mort, the man who we previously caught a glimpse of when we took the pin out of the floor of the Voodoo lady's place on Plunder Island. He shares the same philosophy as Griswold in saying the only way Guybrush would stand any chance of getting into the Aunt's tomb would be to 'drop dead.'
Head back to the hotel, order a drink, and spike it with the leftover hangover cure. This puts Guybrush in a coma-state. Mort comes in to take him away to put him in the crypts.
Griswold: 'I guess that's the end of the game then'
Mort: 'What with him being the main character and all. Funny, I didn't think you could die in LucasArtsTM adventure games'
Griswold: 'Well, maybe they're trying something different'
*Cutscene to Guybrush in a coffin down in the depths of the crypts*
Mort: 'Rest in peace and all that'
*You scored 0 out of 800 points*
*Copyright 1997 LucasArts*
Guybrush convinces the production crew he isn't dead and the game restarts with him in the crypt in the coffin down in the bottom right. Use the chisel to hammer the coffin lid open. Once out of the coffin, pick up the nails from the coffin and open up the middle coffin which is the one making the banging sound. Once opened, a stripey suited, bowling shoe wearing salesman with arms that flap about more than a birds wings mid flight pops out the coffin. He (Stan) gives you a spiel about life insurance and how being locked in the coffin that Guybrush put him in in the previous game has given him a whole new perspective on life.
Head back to the hotel now to find both Griswold and Madame Xima utterly unmoved in seeing Guybrush 'come back to life'. Talk to Griswold and ask why you weren't buried in his Aunt's tomb when you 'died'. He explains how you have to be a member of the Goodsoup family tree to be buried there. Convince him that you are his long lost nephew, Wonton Goodsoup. You will need to enter the room that is locked in the upstairs hallway of the hotel. Use the laminated business card to pick the lock.
Once you are in the room, pull the bed down to unveil a skeleton with a book on its lap. Pick the book up to find it is the Goodsoup Family History. When you try to pick up the book though, the bed folds back up. To resolve this, use the nails you picked up from the coffin on the bed to hold it in place. You'll need one more nail to hold it in. Thankfully, you have a nail from the picture that Guybrush knocked down in the hallway. Now pick up the book and examine it. Go downstairs to talk to Griswold again. He still doesn't believe your story, so head back upstairs and put the cut out portrait you knocked down earlier on the door, enter the room, and put your face up against the porthole. Once you do this, Griswold comes up and admires his family portraits. Once he has finished looking at the portraits, go down and talk to him and he will see that you now bear some resemblance to his great-grandfather C. Lambert Goodsoup. Further the conversation and talk more about the family heritage. This will finally convince him to take you under his wings as a member of the Goodsoup family tree.
Repeat the experiment that made you have a semi coma last time round, mixing the remaining hangover cure with a drink ordered from Griswold. Guybrush immediately falls to the floor, seemingly dead to both Griswold and Wally... again! Griswold wants to give Guybrush a proper, Goodsoup burial. Hey presto! You've got into his Aunt's tomb! On the left, there is a 'crumbling hole' which Guybrush can just about fit through. Climb through the hole using the 'use' button. You will be temporarily transported to one of the previous Monkey Island game screens. This is one of the many priceless nuggets that you get throughout the Monkey Island series - connections to previous games and events in the real world, as well as showing a sense that the producers had a bit of fun creating the game.
To the left of the crumbling hole, you see the Aunt's crypt which is protected by a 'ghost bride'. Talk to her. You find out that she is Minnie Goodsoup. Enquire about the diamond ring and you will find out that it was her lover, LeChuck, who pried it out of the ring itself, and sold it to the smugglers on Skull Island. You find out that Millie will never take the wedding ring off her finger until she has another ring to replace it with and that she won't leave the crypt until she is married.
Go to the left of where Minnie is and you'll find an open coffin with a crowbar sticking out of it. Pick up the crowbar as you'll need it to open the wooden planks in the upstairs room of the hotel. You will hear Murray giggling away. That skull sure does get around. Go over to examine the crack in the wall behind the coffin and Murray falls down in front of Guybrush. You can pick Murray up. Look through the crack and you'll be able to talk to Mort too. Use Murray's arm combined with the paste to pick up the lantern. Head back into the crypt and combine the lantern with Murray to scare Mort into letting you out of the crypt. The lantern runs out of oil so is now rendered useless.
Head out of the Goodsoup crypt to find that Stan has set up his business (Mutual Of Stan) in the crypt you were previously put in. Go talk to him again. Murray disappears. Stan says that you need to show him some proper collateral instead of the wooden nickels to buy some life insurance off him. Give him the gold tooth.
Now head back to the hotel and into the room where you got the Goodsoup family book from. Use the crossbar to take down the wooden planks boarding up the hole in the wall. Then use the crowbar again to pull up the nails on the bed. The hole in the wall leads right down to Goodsoup crypt. This will mean the skeleton will fall into the family crypt. Once the skeleton is flung from the room, it is apparent he is alive as he uses a parachute to fall into the crypt. Millie recognises it as Charles DeGoulash, her first love. Charles proposes to Millie and when they kiss they both go up in a puff of smoke, leaving behind the ring / engagement band Guybrush was after.
Leave the crypt to enter into a cutscene with LeChuck talking to his crew and a new character called Dinghy. He tells him to find Guybrush Threepwood and Elaine.
Head back to the hotel and you will find the death certificate for Guybrush in the back room where you found the block of cheese and Big Whoop magnet. Hand Stan the death certificate and you will receive a lot of money. Now it is time to head to Skull Island...
Go up to the cliff top and talk to Effete LaFoot. From the previous time you went to Skull Island and tried to go get taken down in the rickety elevator, you cannot get to the cliff edge by just being let down on the elevator, you have to come up with a way to float towards the smugglers cave. In turn, when you start falling down the cliff edge, go into your inventory and use the umbrella. You will end up in a treasure filled cave with two smugglers; King Andre and Cruff. Instead of wasting your time having small talk with them, tell them you have so much money it's almost embarrassing and you will get their attention. King Andre says how the Goodsoup family diamond you are after is the centerpiece of his collection.
The conversation with King Andre leads to an old school James Bond reference; 'Do you expect me to talk?' 'No, Mister Threepwood! I expect you to buy!' State how you think Guybrush and King Andre could make a deal to exchange the diamond. You will need to play poker with him and Cruff.
Rules of poker:
Five card stud. Show cards to one another and the best hand wins. Use the five tarot cards that you picked up from Madame Xima in the hotel and swap them with your weak hand. You win the game of poker but the two smugglers threaten to kill you. Effete LaFoot opens the door to say that there is someone to meet them. This leads to the lights to be blown out in the cave. Guybrush escapes with the diamond whilst King Andre and Cruff fight amongst themselves. Before leaving the island, Guybrush goes up to the cliff top and throws Effete LaFoot off the cliff. Once you reach the shore of Blood Island, the Flying Welshman says his farewells and departs.
Leave the beach and you will be transported to a cut scene. It is LeChuck hidden away in the giant monkeys head on Monkey Island. He asks where Elaine and Guybrush are and Dinghy tells LeChuck that he found both of us on Blood Island. We are now faced with lifting the curse on Elaine before LeChuck's army of undead take Elaine away from Guybrush. Go back to the shipwreck and convince Haggis that you need a little bit of lotion and he agrees to give you the whole bottle of lotion if you bring him some tar like substance to help repair the ship. Remember putting the nacho cheese on the cauldron that is cooking over the flowing lava? Go up there and pick it up. You will bring it down to Haggis and you will be able to pick up the much sought after bottle of lotion.
Now go to the clearing where Elaine is. Use the lotion on the cursed ring so that you can get it off Elaine's finger, and put the new Goodsoup family heirloom ring on to her finger so that the curse is lifted. The cursed ring explodes when you take it off Elaine's finger.
*Cutscene to Elaine finishing off her punch on Guybrush that she was unable to land earlier on in the game. Guybrush explains how he has put everything right and the curse has been lifted... Cue both Guybrush and Elaine being surrounded by LeChuck's army of the undead*
Part V - Kiss Of The Spider Monkey
You are transported to Monkey Island, at the Carnival of the Damned. Guybrush is in a cable cart with explosives attached to it and Elaine is tied up with rope. You find out LeChuck is plans on giving the treasure of Big Whoop to Elaine. He says the treasure gives you the 'greatest gift of all -- immorality'. LeChuck explains how he got stranded on Blood Island and was going to marry the ghost bride, Minnie, but it was cut short by Minnie's untimely death. Convince LeChuck that Elaine loves you rather than him by using hard hitting debate lines such as 'she does too infinity' - met by LeChuck's response 'Curse you and your diabolical debate skills!' This is just another classic way in which Curse of Monkey Island outdoes other games both back when it was released and in comparison to modern day games. It shows itself not to take itself too seriously and allows there to be a flow of comedy sketches throughout the game.
Mock LeChuck's storytelling and pretend you're not listening to his frightful stories. This gets LeChuck very frustrated and leads to him performing a spell on Guybrush... a spell to make him into a midget!
Once in the Carnival of the Damned, talk to Dinghy Dog. Ask how you win some of the prizes. Get him to guess your age and you will show him that his predicted age of 7 is way out by showing him your ID. Choose the anchor rather than Murray. Use the anchor with the pie pan and then add the tube of shaving foam.
Put the newly made cake on top of the pile of meringues next to the cannon and ask the giant rat person to fire it at the mime. The anchor knocks the mime out. Now go to the right of Dinghy Dog where you will find a snow cone vendor. Ask him for a plain snow cone at the moment. Walk away but you find the snowcone melts as soon as you do that! Head over to the gate to the hole where the mime was situated before and open it. Go to the window and get the rat to fire a meringue at you. Now you have meringue in your inventory, go over to Dinghy Dog and push him six times until he bites you. Once he bites you, you have some of his hair.
Now go back to the snow cone vendor and get a snow cone. Pick up the pepper mill on the side too. Combine the snow cone, meringue and dog hair and pepper. Once you have made the disgusting concoction of a snow cone, eat it! This gives Guybrush a brain freeze, but also his height back!
Once you get on the rollercoaster, there are four dioramas you can get off at: Herman Toothrot, a snowy landscape with a giant monkey, LeChuck's torture chamber where you find Wally, and a deck of Captain Marley's ship (pick up the barrel on the ground next to Rodgers and stick it under the Giant Monkey's arm). Once you have put the keg of rum underneath the monkey's arm, LeChuck interrupts proceedings and wonders why Guybrush hasn't boiled in the lava at the end of his rollercoaster. Get off at the diorama with Herman Toothrot on and pick up the loose rope. After this, go to where Wally is and blow the lantern out with the parrot button. Pick up the flask of oil before LeChuck turns up. Soak the rope with the oil and then go to the giant monkey and attach the rope to its arm. Go down to the bottom of the diorama and LeChuck will interrupt you again. This time, blow some pepper from the pepper mill in his face before he blows a flame ball at you. He will sneeze a flame ball at the flammable rope now. Guybrush jumps in the cart and escapes whilst the mountain explodes.
*Cue another cutscene with Guybrush and Elaine in wedding attire having just got married, on board the Sea Cucumber being waved goodbye into the sunset by Haggis, Bill, Edward, Lemon Head and a chicken.*
*Another cutscene to show Murray left by his lonesome self at the Carnival of the Damned saying the following:
'Run, mortal... but do not forget your arch-nemesis Murray! Mark my words, I SHALL return to haunt you! Do you hear me? I SHALL RETURN! Bwahahahahahahaha!'
THE END
*Final Cutscene:- 'This carnival is great, dad!' 'It sure is, son. But you know, rumor has it that the man who built this place is buried here. And they say that, to this day, his frozen body remains in the tunnels somewhere beneath the amusement park'* - Cue a follow up game - Escape From Monkey Island!
You have now reached the end of The Curse of Monkey Island, and my first ever game walkthrough. I hope you have enjoyed this walk through and if you have any requests on further walkthroughs you want me to do then please comment away!
Jonathan Whitehead
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