Escape From Monkey Island - Part 2

Good morrow young sea faring adventurers, we meet again! Welcome to part 2 of my Escape From Monkey Island game walkthrough. In part 1, we went to Lucre Island, freed Guybrush from being framed for a robbery at Lucre Bank, found the Marley heirlooms, found out LeChuck was 'back from the dead' using Charles L. Charles as an undercover name to run against Elaine in Melee Island elections, and finally found out what this 'Ultimate Insult' is all about. Safe to say, it is never dull in the life of Guybrush Threepwood - and we still have another whole disc to go through of his adventures!

Fast forward to where we are at the moment - at the start of disc 2, we are on Jumbalaya Island, an island that, for authenticity sake, looks as if it has thrown in the 'pirate' towel long ago. It is clean, modern and has absolutely nothing pirate-y about it.

 

Carla disappears into town, Mister Cheese is, once again, mending the ship, and Otis has gone down to the end of the harbour. Next to the Dainty Lady there is a 'Community Rowboat'. If you go into it, you will be shown a map of Jambalaya Island and Knuttin Attol. There are a fair few places to visit and lots of things to do before Guybrush can think about moving on...

Head up to town. Outside Planet Threepwood, you find Murray being a 'greeter / bouncer' for the restaurant. You talk about the Ultimate Insult and you find out that you need a monkey head as the headpiece. Now head into Planet Threepwood and talk to the goofy looking pirate down in the left hand corner. Talk to him about the Ultimate Insult and find out that the monkey head reminds him of the Silver Monkey Mug they giveaway at Planet Threepwood. If you also try to convince him that you are the 'real' Guybrush Threepwood, he laughs, saying Guybrush is 7 feet tall, wears a hat and has the ghost of his parrot on shoulder.

Now head to the 'jolly pirate' and ask for a charicature with these features on it. Answer the questions with 'I'm partial to the clang of a good sword fight', 'Nothing makes a bold fashion statement like a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder...' and answer the last one by saying read books. Before you can order anything from 'Elayne Marley' the waitress, you need someway to pay for it, as, for the time being, you are penniless.

Now go outside and talk to the pirate standing next to the statue of Tiny LaFeet. Show him the image of the Ultimate Insult. He says that the bronze hat came from the statue next to him, but he says that the hat was stolen by pirates on Knuttin Attol. He also says that the son of Tiny LaFeet lives on Knuttin Attol - the island you can get to on the Community Rowboat down by the Dainty Lady.

Enter the Micro Groggery. Here, you will find Carla and a Menacing Mechanical Manatee. If you talk to the bartender, he says how they are giving away a free Planet Threepwood Silver Monkey Mug for anyone who can stay on the manatee for the longest. However, when Guybrush tries it out first time, he can't even stay on it on the 'bed wetter' setting... not a good start at all to defend his position as 'mighty pirate'. You need to find something to put on the manatee in order to keep Guybrush on it for longer.

In the meantime, head out and go down to the Starbuccaneers Coffee shop. You see an empty cappaccino mug in the window. Pick it up when you go into the shop (just behind the plants). Talk to the strange looking lady in the purple hat and she thinks that the golden man might be the diving trophy.

 

So now you know what each of the three items you need for the Ultimate Insult are:

1) Silver Monkey Mug from Planet Threepwood

2) Bronze hat from the Tiny LaFeet statue

3) Golden trophy for diving competition

Now pick up the coffee mug that the lady has in her bag - Guybrush will distract the lady by saying there's an offer on coffee beans. Head to the counter and pick up one of the free bagels and eat it. Guybrush will spit it back out because of its horrific taste - you now have a chewing gum esque paste. Talk to the coffee clerk and use the empty coffee cup to get a free refill of groggoccino. Try it out and you will get a shot of energy that is enough to cure any hangover. Head back to the Micro Groggery and hand the groggoccino to Carla. You need to find something a lot more powerful to sober her up according to Guybrush.

'May your life be big, and your splashes be small'

In the meantime, go down the tall rock where you will find the plank diving championships being held. You meet Marco de Pollo, the current champion of plank diving. To dive against Marco de Pollo, you need to get certified by the judging committe. You pass the physical test with the diving judges and are now able to dive against Marco de Pollo.

 

You try diving against him normally and the following combinations occur:

Spinning Swordsman - Alpha Monkey - Spinning Swordsman
Keelhaul - Alpha Monkey - Spinnin Swordsman.
Keelhaul - Rum barrel - Spinning Swordsman

No matter how many times you practice honing your diving skills, you can not beat Marco de Pollo by diving ability alone - not that Guybrush is any good at diving whatsoever... You need to play dirty, so to speak. You need to make Marco produce a very bad dive and you need to get the grouchy man to stop giving Marco 10's and start giving you good scores. Note the bottle of baby seal oil on the table to the right of Marco de Pollo, this will be important in future...

In the meantime, go to Stan's Time Share down on the east side of the island. Here you get to meet glitchy arm movement Stan again selling time shares. He jokingly says how the life insurance turned into a 'dead end' and then laughs at his own joke... If you ask him to give you his real estate pitch, it is 3 hours long and Guybrush ends up dozing off. You need to find a way to keep Guybrush awake throughout. This is where that groggoccino comes in handy! Drink the groggoccino and then listen to the pitch. Once you hear the whole pitch, you will be handed a free coupon for a Planet Threepwood mug. Head back to Planet Threepwood and pick up your free Monkey Mug. However, you cannot just pick up the mug, you need to swap it for your StarBuccaneer's mug. But not just outright swap it, you need to make it look like the original Monkey Mug. At the moment, you don't have the items to make a realistic swap.

Moving away from the table means the waitress will take the Monkey Mug away and you will have to get another coupon from Stan.

Head back to the ship and get in the community boat and row towards Knuttin Atoll. However, you get attacked and questioned by the regulations officer of the island. Admiral Casaba is the man who Ozzie Mandrill has commissioned with the safeguarding of all things on Knuttin Atoll. Now row to the southern coast of Knuttin Atoll. Safe to say, you are 'welcomed' by somewhat of a bleak picture, with only a school, a puppet show, and a boulder filled beach to show for itself.

 

Talk to the puppeteer about being Hellbeard. As soon as you mention anything about the Ultimate Insult, he starts to go insane and makes you talk to the puppets again. Now head to the right just past the small shack until you find a beach with two pirates on it. Talk to the 'metabollically challenged' pirate - it turns out to be Jumbeaux LeFeet. He has two parrots on his shoulders - Huggin and Kyssin as Jumbeaux would like to call them - identical twins - one of which tells the truth all the time, and the other who constantly lies. He exclaims how he buried the bronze hat under a boulder along the Knuttin Atoll beach. You will need to use both the parrots to figure out the way to the boulder that Jumbeaux hid his father's bronze hat underneath.

Now head up towards the Pirate Transmogrification Academy. Once you are in the class, you see there is a dunce cap on the front table. You will need to get that dunce cap and use it for diving against Marco de Pollo.

Answer your 1st question with: 'I burn the restaurant to the ground, and string the chef up by his kidneys!'

Answer your 2nd question with: 'Taking advantage of their mutual distraction, I impale both men on my trusty sword, and steal their gold!'

Answer your 3rd question with: 'I disembowel the stranger with a dagger, hide his body in a nearby alley, and take his wallet!'

You have the dunce cap! Yusss! Guybrush loves it. Head back inside the classroom and try to pick up one of the toys in the chest on the side. You need to either distract Miss Rivers or find the owner of said item to collect it. Now go outside, pull the fire alarm and then head back inside to take some of the loot inside the chest. Pick up the whistle, toy ship, SCAB magazine, and pirate gaming card. Once you have all of these items you can head off away from the school.

Head back to the diving judges and hand the brochure you got from Stan's stand to the grumpy judge to bribe him to give you a better score. Tell Marco de Pollo you want another dive off. Now use the chewed bagel sludge to pour into the baby seal oil that Marco de Pollo uses before each dive. Notice once you have done this, a seagull swoops down. Initially this does not change his diving success so you need to do something else too.

Now go and talk to the hippie judge to see what you are doing wrong with your dives. He tells you that you need to match Marco de Pollo's dives move for move. He says that there are four types of dives that you can do. They are as follows:

1) Keelhaul - Up
2) Rum Barrell - Down
3) Spinning Swordsman - Right
4) Alpha Monkey - Left

You select the dives you will do before you dive off the plank so that three golden man statues appear on the left of your screen. Make sure you select each one as the same as Marco de Pollo's ones.

You match Marco de Pollo's dives and get 10's all around from the judges. You now have to dive first. Perform any dives you want to do. He goes and puts the sabotaged baby seal oil on. This leads to the seagulls swooping down and distracting his dives. This gives him the scores of 10, 1 and 3 from the judges. Guybrush now has the golden man that makes up 1/3 of the Ultimate Insult. Now all he needs is the bronze hat and the monkey mug.

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Cutscene to Elaine running against Charles L. Charles. Elaine is getting grossly outwitted by LeChuck in the elections and is on course to lose the mansion to him.

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Now go back to Knuttin Attoll and head to the right of where Jumbeaux LeFeet is and there you find the beach filled with boulders. Use the parrot whistle to attract the two parrots from Jumbo's shoulders. To know which parrot is the truth telling parrot and which one is the lying parrot, give one of them a drink of cappuccino. Another way to do this, is to get a free mug of 'wimpy grog' from the bartender at the Micro Groggery. Nonetheless, these are the directions that I recieved from the truth telling pirate:

North
East
East
East

When you ask the truth telling parrot after this final one, it says for Guybrush to go 'nowhere'. You have found the rock the bronze hat is under. However, there is no way that Guybrush would be able to move the rock on his own so you need to find a way to get Admiral Casaba to fire a cannonball at it, and the only way to do that is to get three pirates talking around it. As a side note, you will automatically be taken to the big boulder each time you head down the path to the right of Jumbeaux La Feet so do not worry about having to do it all over again. If you try to get Jumbeaux to help Guybrush move the rock, he says that his days of lifting heavy objects is over. The only other way to find 'two pirates' is by getting hold of the two puppets from Hellbeard somehow, but everytime Guybrush asks him about the Ultimate Insult, he hides away. However, if you say that you'll leave him alone, then he stays above the parapet so to speak. You now have your chance to get the puppets. Take out the picture of the Ultimate Insult and show it to him. Hellbeard then drops the puppets and runs off out of his mini theatre. Pick up the puppets and head back to the big boulder that Tiny LaFeet's bronze hat is under.

 

 

Pull out the puppets once you are next to the boulder. Get Guybrush to play act a fight between the two puppets so as to attract the attention of Admiral Casaba. He orders the big cannon to be fired at the boulder. You now have the bronze hat! You also now have everything you need from Knuttin Attoll so head back to Jumbalaya Island.

 

Now to get the Monkey Mug from Planet Threepwood. Head down to Stan's Time Share Emporium and pick up the jar of glue to the left of the door. Re-endulge yourself with Stan's epic 3 hour speech on Time Shares so that you get a free coupon for the mug. Now head up to the Micro Groggery and put the glue on to the seat of the manatee. Talk to the bartender and complete the manatee competition. You now have a Monkey Mug Meal coupon. If you want to make it really easy though, there are load of Planet Threepwood coupons on the barrel outside of the Micro Groggery also (I think they appear after you complete riding the manatee). Now you have two meal coupons for Planet Threepwood.

However, you still do not have the required items to swap the Silver Monkey Mug for the StarBuccaneer's coffee mug. Head to Planet Threepwood and use the coupon to order a drink. Once you have a drink, talk to the jolly pirate and convince him that you want a charicature with the Monkey Mug. Once you have the drawing, use the glue with the drawing, and then stick the image onto the StarBuccaneer's coffee mug. The monkey head from the drawing will be stuck onto the mug and you can now swap over the Silver Monkey Mug with the fake Monkey Mug.

Now head outside and you will be automatically escorted back to Melee Island. Upon returning, you find LeChuck and Ozzie Mandrill at the mansion. They end up taking away all of the items Guybrush has to create the Ultimate Insult. They then decide to maroon Guybrush on a far away island which is near-on impossible to escape from... you guessed it... Monkey Island!

END OF ACT 2

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ACT 3 - Escape From Monkey Island

You are greeted by the affectionate Timmy the monkey. Not the monkeys againnnn!!! Ohh yess, from here on out there will be monkeys galore.

Pick up the note on the pole near the exit of the beach and then head towards the campsite just ahead of the beach. Here, pick up the note on the side of the shack and the coconut on the floor. Head further inland and you will meet Herman Toothrot, a character you meet in a previous Monkey Island game. You find out that he has no memory of anything whatsoever so you need to jog his memory somehow. Throw the coconut at him. He remembers some of his past, mentioning how there is gold down in the canyon and that he has a banana picker. Don't throw the coconut at him more than once as he will just go back to remembering nothing.

Now go towards the canyon. There you will find three holes to throw the big boulders down. You need to find a way to make one of the rocks go down the middle hole. If one lands down to the right, then it gets flung towards the beach you landed on. If it lands down the left, then it lands at the bottom of the canyon. To make one go down the middle is very tricky though.

The way to throw the rocks into the corresponding holes so that they knock each other at the right time. This is as follows:

1) Right

2) Middle - Wait until the first boulder has knocked the branch before throwing this one

3) Left - Throw when the boulder you threw down the middle hole knocks the branch on the left

4) Left - Throw this final boulder when the middle boulder you threw hits the bottom branch. This will lead to the boulder having enough time to get to the middle shaft before carrying on down the middle shaft and flung out of the canyon and into the lava stream next to the volcano.

 

Now go to the canyon. Here you will find a note written to Herman Toothrot from JJJ to request him to stop mining. You will also find his banana picker he mentioned earlier, next to the cactus on the right of the screen.

 

Go into the mine shaft, you will find a boarded up passage, a lever to alter the track directions, and a big metal door with a portal and a vent. You can't fit through either of them so you'll need to find something small enough to fit through there... a monkey!

Head back to the beach you washed up on and use the banana picker on the bunch of bananas in the top left of the screen. You will only get one at a time but on the third time of picking them up the whole bunch falls from the tree. If you give Timmy a banana, he will follow you. He will follow you to the canyon then lose interest. Give him another one before going into the mineshaft. Now go to the big metal door at the end, open the vent at the bottom of it. Use a banana to pull Timmy into the vent. Close the vent door behind him and then use a banana with the portal so that he jumps and opens the door. 

This will open up a new passageway down to some very hi-tech machinery. Use the banana picker to pick up the weed whipper. Once you have the weed whipper, head back to the mine shaft.

Now go up to the lava field. Once there, a monkey throws what looks like to be a shiny bottle onto one of the rocks in the lava. You will need to find a way across to get there. To do this, go up to the cathedral at the top of the mountain. Here you meet Father Allegro Rasputin. He says the only way to defeat LeChuck and the Ultimate Insult is to create a bigger voodoo insult. Convince the priest that you want to test ride the lava ride. Now you have the boulder in the way of one of the routes, just guide Guybrush down into the small pool of lava.

Upon exiting the log ride, use the weed whipper to pick up the weeds from around the lava pool. This will lead to lava pouring into the mine shaft which is now opened up.

If you head to the right, you can go up towards the north of Monkey Island where you will find the great statue of a monkey and a village infested with monkeys. To get back to the rest of the island, you can just kick the palm tree so it makes a bridge across to the other side of the lava pool. Now take another ride on the log ride. To pick up the milk bottle, use the banana picker when you go past the rock with it on.

If you question Father Rasputin about the supposed marriage between Elaine and LeChuck, the priest says that it is Guybrush who is the 'Anti LeChuck' and that even muttering his name is considered blasphemy. 'He-whose-name-must-not-be-spoken' - sounds a bit familiar to me... who allowed J.K. Rowling to steal LucasArts classic lines?

If you go to the door out of the Cathedral, there are two tiny shields you can pick up with your banana picker too. Pick both of these up.

If you head up to the great monkey head, you find a Q-tip stuck in its ear which you can't dislodge and a switch up its nose. The grave to the right of the monkey head is Jo Jo Senior's.

'No one has any respect for history'

If you run into a monkey on the path up to the village they will come out with 'Monkey Insults' such as Och Chee Chee. Carry on up towards the village. Here, you meet Jo Jo Junior, a talking monkey! He is wearing the bronze hat that Guybrush needs in order to start to put together the Ultimate Insult. However, Jo Jo Junior says to win it he needs to win at Monkey Kombat.

This is how it works. The different moves available at your disposable are:

1) Gimpy Gibbon
2) Bobbing Babboon
3) Charging Chimp
4) Drunken Monkey
5) Anxious Ape

The Monkey Insults used are: Ick, Ack, Oop, Eek, and Chee

The ways to move from one move to another are as follows:

Ack Oop Eek = Anxious Ape - Gimpy Gibbon - Anxious Ape

Ack Eek Chee - Bobbing Babboon - Anxious Ape - Bobbing Babboon

Ack Chee Eek = Gimpy Gibbon - Bobbing Babboon - Gimpy Gibbon

Chee Ack Oop = Drunken Monkey - Bobbing Babboon - Drunken Monkey

Oop Eek Ack = Charging Chimp - Bobbing Babboon - Charging Chimp

Oop Ack Chee = Drunken Monkey - Charging Chimp - Drunken Monkey

Ack Chee Oop = Gimpy Gibbon - Drunken Monkey - Gimpy Gibbon

Oop Ack Eek = Charging Chimp - Gimpy Gibbon - Charging Chimp

Ack Eek Oop = Drunken Monkey - Anxious Ape - Drunken Monkey

Ack Oop Chee = Anxious Ape - Charging Chimp - Anxious Ape

Moves that defeat other moves

Gimpy Gibbon beats Drunken Monkey, Anxious Ape

Bobbing Babboon beats Drunken Monkey, Gimpy Gibbon

Charging Chimp beats Gimpy Gibbon, Bobbing Babboon

Drunken Monkey beats Charging Chimp

Anxious Ape beats Drunken Monkey, Bobbing Babboon, Charging Chimp

Moves you can't move between

Bobbing Babboon - Gimpy Gibbon

Gimpy Gibbon - Charging Chimp

Gimpy Gibbon - Anxious Ape

Keep Current position

Repeat three primal insult words in a row - e.g. Ack Ack Ack

Monkey Kombat with Jo Jo Jnr

Now you have all the insult combinations to take on Jo Jo Jnr in Monkey Kombat. 'Perhaps you are ready to fulfil the prophecies'. All you need to do is make sure you beat him every time you do your move. You will get down to 1 banana health. Hit him with a winning move and you will get him down to 1 banana health too. Jo Jo Jnr then does a move that means you both draw. All you need to do then is to hit him with a winning move and then you have won your bronze hat back!

I don't know about you, but that took too long to figure out!

You will need to get the accordion off of the monkey in the hut also. Remember those tiny little shields you picked up from the Monkey eyes above the exit to the Cathedral earlier? To get the accordion off of the monkey, just start using the shields as mini tambourines and he'll drop the accordion out of the hut. If you look at it, it has Herman Toothrot's initials on it.

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Now to the issue of Herman Toothrot's memory. No matter what you throw at him, his memory doesn't come back. You can throw the banana picker, the milk bottle, the bronze hat and the coconut at him and nothing works. Now use the accordion you picked up from the monkey village. This still doesn't jog his memory at all.

If you hit him enough times with the coconut however, he remembers things that happened a few months - notably waking up next to a milk bottle. This is a clue as to what to throw at him next. End your conversation and throw a milk bottle at him. He now remembers Guybrush! We are finally making progress. Huzzah.

Now ask him his earliest memory. He remembers 20 years ago, and mentions about finding an accordion. This is your next clue! End the conversation with him and throw the accordion at Herman. The music changes and Herman remembers everything and tells Guybrush a story.

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Cutscene to Herman telling Guybrush the story of him travelling to Australia, meeting Ozzie Mandrill, telling him about the lucrative opportunities in the Carribbean, Big Whoop, the Three Headed Monkey and the Ultimate Insult. Horatio Torquemeda Marley... Guybrush's grandfather!

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Talk to Horatio. He will tell you that there is a fourth piece of the Ultimate Insult - the gubernatorial seal of Melee Island.

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Cutscene to Elaine seeing the citizens of Melee Island being enslaved to build a commemorative statue of LeChuck. Pegnose Pete is now involved in the evil plans of Ozzie Mandrill and LeChuck and holds Elaine under gun arrest.

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Once you finish talking to Horatio, head back up to the giant monkey head. Use the banana picker with the monkey's nose so as to open the latch. This will open the mouth of the monkey. Enter the newly found hidden passageway. You will come into a control room. There are levers, gauges and a prominent slot. You will need to put something into the prominent slot but at the moment you do not have anything that fits. Use the spare gubernatorial seal that Horatio just gave you with the prominent slot. Nothing happens. You need to find some monkeys.

Head back to talk to Toto Jnr. He says that they show a great deal of respect for the person who wears the bronze hat! However, Guybrush won't wear the bronze hat as there is too much monkey hair in it. In turn, go to the big monkey head and put the bronze hat on that. Now go inside the monkey head and put the gubernatorial seal into the prominent slot. All the monkeys turn up to work all the contraptions within the giant monkey head.

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Cutscene to the giant monkey head turning into a robotic monkey. Horatio helps Guybrush get back to Melee Island. You need to turn off the Ultimate Insult 'amplifier' so as to curtail Ozzie Mandrill and LeChuck's evil plan.

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Pick up the really big plank and use it with the small tower. Climb the small tower and jump on the really big plank. This will allow the robotic monkey to jump from the small tower to the medium tower and ultimately to the really really tall tower automatically. Push the switch.

 

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Cutscene to Ozzie Mandrill and LeChuck in the Elaine and Guybrush's mansion trying to work out the Ultimate Insult. Guybrush has stalled them for a short time. This frustrates LeChuck and he goes and unleashes a voodoo curse to turn the statue of him in Melee Town into a living thing. This giant walking statue of LeChuck walks onto their front lawn but Ozzie manages to use the Ultimate Insult to control the statue. Jo Jo Junior then challenges LeChuck and Ozzie Mandrill to a Monkey Kombat fight. Time to re-apply our Monkey Kombat skills!

 

You cannot beat him as his health regenerates so you need to make sure you draw with him enough times to frustrate him to let Elaine go and ignore orders from Ozzie Mandrill.

 

Now, Horatio and Timmy are reunited with Elaine! Timmy scares Guybrush by using some Monkey Kombat insults and Guybrush jumps off the cliff.

You have now finished Escape From Monkey Island! I hope you have enjoyed the walkthrough and have found it useful. Come back for the next installment of walkthroughs on GuardianGamerOfTheGalaxy.

Until next time swashbuckling, sea faring pirate wannabes, until next time!

Jonathan Whithehead

Escape From Monkey Island - Part 1

Welcome back to a new installment of gaming walkthroughs on my blog, GuardianGamerOfTheGalaxy. So far, we have covered The Curse Of Monkey Island and Grim Fandango - two brilliant games brought to us, the puzzle crazed gamers, by the genius of LucasArts Entertainment. In turn, what better way to complete a trilogy of LucasArts game walkthroughs then to go onto their last ever game, Escape From Monkey Island! I hope you enjoy reading this walk through as much as the previous two. In this game, we welcome back Dominic Armato as the voice over for the newly married Guybrush 'Marley' Threepwood.

In the cutscene to open up the game, Guybrush is reminiscing on the good times, defeating LeChuck in the previous Monkey Island games and finding the 'love of his life' Elaine - otherwise known as 'plunder buddy'. Guybrush reminisces for too long and you find out he is tied to the mast of a ship whilst Elaine battles with pirates. Trouble already? There's always trouble brewing in one form or another whenever Guybrush is involved.

'The only thing duller than my sword was my wit' - Guybrush Threepwood (circa 2000)

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Now that the cutscene is over, you are welcomed with a screen filled with nothing but Guybrush, a brazier full of hot coals, a cannon ready to fire, and the crate to the ships hold. What you need to do is to kick the brazier of hot coals over (using 'U'), juggle one of the hot coals on your feet whilst you shift around to face the other side of the ship until the prompt on the bottom of the screen says 'Kick red hot chunk o' coal at loaded cannon'. To pick up the hot coal, press 'P'. Move around to the other side of the mast using the directional buttons. This results in a huge cannon being shot through the adjacent ship. Guybrush and Elaine are victorious.

Cutscene to their return to Melee Island and Elaine is not looking forward to the large welcoming party that will be on the docks upon their arrival. However, all is not as it was on Melee Island and not a single person welcomes Elaine and Guybrush back apart from Timmy the Monkey who appears to be warning them both about something that has happened up at the Governor's Mansion.

There you find a man firing rocks at the mansion as he is under contract to do so as the Governor (Elaine) is 'dead'. You find out through talking to him that he can only hit the cactus (seen on the right hand side of the mansion) and that the only way to stop him firing the catapult would be to give him some snacks. In turn, you need to find a way to make the catapault need re-aligning, something rubbery to attach to the cactus to fling the boulder back, and snacks. In addition, Guybrush needs to find a way to Lucre Island to talk to lawyers to get the contract scrapped. Simple enough!

Or in Guybrush's words: 'Stop the insanity. Check'

Walk towards Melee Town. Enter the 'International House of Mojo' where the Voodoo Lady you met in Curse Of Monkey Island is. Pull the finger on the hand shaped table so that the Voodoo Lady appears. It seems she has an 'unbreakable five game deal with LucasArts' so that is why Guybrush can't seem to shake her off... She states how you'll need to find a ship, crew and a navigator (found in the Scumm Bar) before you can go to Lucre Island. She also exclaims how Melee Island has become so empty because of a mysterious overseas investor buying up all of Melee Island. Now you have all found out all you can do from the mysterious Voodoo Lady.

If you head to the left of the screen, you will be shown to a map of Melee Island. To the top left, you have the Governor's Mansion, to the top right you have a Meathook's House of Wax, to the bottom right you have the dock, and the bottom left you have Melee Town.

If you head to the right of the screen, you will reach the town hall. Outside the town hall you will meet Otis and Carla, two thirds of Guybrush's original crew he took to Monkey Island. The other third of Guybrush's crew was Meathook. Once you talk to both of them, you find out that they hold a pretty big grudge against Guybrush for leaving them on Monkey Island; so much so that Otis has resorted to petty thievery, or as he likes to call it: 'pro-active redistribution of wealth'. The only way to convince them to join your crew again is to get them contracts for cushy government jobs.

Carry on walking to the right from the town hall and you will reach Scumm Bar. In the front part of the bar you have two pirates playing darts and a very scarred bartender. In the back, you have two elderly folk, one whose birthday it is and another who it turns out is a navigator. You will need to beat this Ignatious Cheese in an Insult Arm Wrestle match to get him on your crew. It turns out that he is also the owner of the Scumm Bar and won't join Guybrush's crew because he doesn't want to leave it. Insults, gibes and mockeries are the curse of the bewildered pirate on Melee Island it seems.

Retorts and Insults used to beat Ignatious Cheese in Insult Arm Wrestling:

Today, by myself, twelve people I've beaten - From the size of your gut, I guess they were eaten

I'm going to put your arm in a sling - Why? Are you studying to be a nurse?

I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of - It's too bad that none of them are in your arms

My ninety-eight year old grandmother has bigger arms than you! - Yeh but we've both got better bladder control than you do

Give up now, or I'll crush you like a grape! - I would if it would stop your WINE-ING

You're the ugliest creature I've ever seen in my life - I'm shocked that you've never gazed at your wife

Your arms are no bigger than fleas that I've met - So that's why you're scratching... I'd go see a vet

My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces - I'm surprised you can count that high

Hey, look over there - Yeah, yeah I know, it's a three headed monkey

Your knuckles I'll grind into a splintery paste - Ugh, I thought the bean dip had a strange taste

Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lip? - It's laughter that's caused by your feathery grip

People consider my fists leathal weapons - Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned

Only once have I met such a coward! - He must've taught you everything you know

I've out-wrestled octopi with these arms - I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might

My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks! - An over the counter defoliant can help with that problem

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Once you have got yourself a navigator for your trip to Lucre Island, through out-witting Ignatious Cheese, head over to the table opposite him. If you try and take some of the pretzels on the table, the man drunkenly retaliates. You need to find something to pop the birthday balloon. Talk to the dart players and convince them to hit the balloon in the corner of the room. Now go and pick up the pretzels. Now head back to the Governor's Mansion.

Once there take the popped inner tube out of your inventory (to do this, press 'I' to open up the inventory and then press 'P' to keep hold of the item once out of the inventory. To combine items in your inventory, press 'U' and move across to the item you want to combine it with). Use the tubing on the cactus and then head back to the man throwing rocks at the house. Give the pretzels to the catapult operator and whilst he is away, tinker with the catapult. This will make him recalibrate the catapult to the cactus. This leads to the catapult falling off the edge of the cliff and Elaine coming back to state that she is still 'dead'.

Then, upon noting how there was only one person running for mayor of Melee Island, a man who goes by the name Charles L. Charles, a posh 'man of the people', Elaine says how she needs to run against Charles L. Charles and that Guybrush needs to find a way to get to Lucre Island.

Go inside the mansion now. Pick up the government contract for a cushy job on top of the chest of drawers on the left of the window. This can be used to convince Otis and Carla to once more join Guybrush's crew. Now go to the table where Elaine is working and pick up the other government contract. Now get Elaine to sign them both. To get the action line to go down to 'Give government job contract to Elaine', press the 'Page Down' or 'Page Up' button. Now you have two signed contracts ready for Otis and Carla! Head down to hand the ordinary contract to Otis and Carla. They reject this one so hand them the cushy government contract instead. This gets you an additional two members for your crew!

Talk to Elaine regarding your problems in getting a ship and she will give you the Gubernatorial Symbol of Melee Island to show that you have a level of authority on the island.

Head down to the dock. By the grog machine you will find a 'popped inner tube' - pick this up. Remember how you need to deflect one of the rocks back towards the catapult? This will be handy for attaching to the cactus. Next, talk to the 'lady of leisure' about possibly lending Guybrush a ship. However, you will need more than the Guybrush charm to go about commandeering a ship. You need to prove that you have the 'authority to recquisition a ship' and you will have your ship. Hand the gubernatorial symbol to the harbour mistress. You now have your ship; otherwise known as the Dainty Lady! Now Ignatious Cheese, Carla and Otis join you and you set sail to Lucre Island.

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LUCRE ISLAND

Walk up the stairs just past the fish stall towards the 'Bait Shoppe'. Pick up the duck outside the shop. Guybrush somehow manages to fit the duck into his Mary Poppins esque trousers! Guybrush doesn't allow you to go into the shop before you take him to the Law offices first. Head towards the left of the screen until you get to the main town centre where you will find a fountain, the Hall of Justice, House of Sticks and a very effeminate man selling 'Scents and Sensibilities'. Carry on to the left of the screen until you are presented with the Law office of W.T.D, Lucre Bank and the Palace of Prostheses. Head into the Law Office.

Cutscene to Guybrush getting questioned by the judges of the Tri-Island Area. They say they cannot help Guybrush at the moment but do give him a letter from Grandpa Marley. Read this letter. It shows how there is a chest in the Lucre Bank that contains a secret of The Ultimate Insult and the deeds to the Marley Mansion. Yours, Horatio Marley.

Now head to the Hall of Justice. On the floor is a tin of chicken grease, pick it up. In the cell, you see Otis. Talk to him and you find out that he was 'framed' for stealing flowers from some old guy.

Now go back to the Bait Shoppe. Guybrush will find the smell of putrid rotting fresh somewhat revolting initially. In the shop, pick up some of the free bait on the side and you can watch the termite circus do their tricks also. Talking to the owner of the shop doesn't help you much so once you have the free bait, leave the shop and head to the effeminate man selling perfumes. Pick up one of the empty spritzer bottles to the left of him. He is called Hugo and he pronounces colognes as Colog Knees! He tries to influence Guybrush into parting cash for perfume and sprays 'Eau de LeChuck' of which he describes as having an 'earthy' fragrance to it. Upon Guybrush asking whether Hugo missed being a pirate, he exclaims only the wind, wenches, grog, and decks covered with blood of Hugo's enemies. You can hear Guybrush giving out a miniature yelp.

Combine the rotting bait and the empty spritzer bottle and spray it in Hugo's face. You find out it is 'too dry to spritz' initially, so head to the fountain and fill it up with water. Head back and spray it in Hugo's face. It has no effect on Hugo so you will need to add more things to this home made perfume later.

Now head to the House of Sticks down to the right hand side of Hugo. The shopkeeper is called Freddie and he carves walking sticks. He mentions a Mr Mandrill who tends to break walking sticks frequently. No matter what responses you give Freddie regarding getting the perfect walking stick for you, you always end up with the Veeblefester9000 Rainforest Deluxe. You need to find out who this Mr. Mandrill is.

Go into the Palace of Prostheses where you find Deadeye Dave, who determines who you are by the smell you give off - another use for where the completed home made perfume will come in handy. He shows how his missing monkey is the key to figure out his filing system.

First comes first though. Head outside and use the broken sword to dislodge the manhole cover. Examine the manhole cover to find the following written on it: 'Mindy loves Fred' written next to a scrubbed out 'Jerry loves Mindy'.

Story time! To get a free prosthetic device, you have to humour Dave.

Pirate named... Jerry / Larry / Harry

Fair maiden named... Mindy / Cindy / Wendy

Jerk / Bounder named... Fred / Ned / Jed

Here are the following prizes you get for the different combinations:

Jerry - Mindy - Fred = Ultra stretchy prosthetic skin - This is the combination written on the back of the manhole cover

Jerry - Cindy - Fred = Artificial liver

Jerry - Wendy - Fred = Artifical heart

Jerry - Mindy - Ned = Artificial liver

Jerry - Cindy - Ned = Artificial liver

Jerry - Wendy - Ned = Artificial heart

Jerry - Mindy - Jed = Artificial liver

Jerry - Cindy - Jed = Artificial  heart

Jerry - Wendy - Jed = Artificial heart

Larry - Mindy - Fred = Prosthetic head

Larry - Cindy - Fred = Prosthetic head

Larry - Wendy - Fred = Artificial gut

Larry - Mindy - Ned = Prosthetic head

Larry - Cindy - Ned = Artificial gut

Larry - Wendy - Ned = Artificial gut

Larry - Mindy - Jed = Prosthetic head

Larry - Cindy - Jed = Artificial gut

Larry - Wendy - Jed = Bile-tastic Stom Mech 9000

Harry - Mindy - Fred = Bile-tastic Stom Mech 9000

Harry - Cindy - Fred = Prosthetic feet

Harry - Wendy - Fred = Prosthetic feet

Harry - Mindy - Ned = Bile-tastic Stom Mech 9000

Harry - Cindy - Ned = Prosthetic feet

Harry - Wendy - Ned = Prosthetic bottom (Fauxbutt3000)

Harry - Mindy - Jed = Bile-tastic Stom Mech 9000

Harry - Cindy - Jed = Prosthetic feet

Harry - Wendy - Jed = Prosthetic bottom (Fauxbutt3000)

In total, once you have the following items from Dave, you have everything you need at the moment from the prosthetics shop: Ultra stretchy prosthetic skin, artificial liver, artificial heart, prosthetic head, artificial gut, the Bile-tastick Stom Mech 9000, prosthetic feet, and a prosthetic bottom. In actual fact, just find one combination that will give you each of these as it will save you a lot of time.

To the right of Dave, there is the file retrieval system controls. At the moment, you don't have the combination you need to find the file you will ultimately need so we'll come back to this later.

Now, before you head out of the shop, look at the basket of prosthetic limbs just next to the door. Pick up the wooden prosthetic hand. However, Deadeye Dave hears you trying to take it and orders you to leave it. You need to distract him somehow.

In the meantime, head to Lucre Bank. You find Ozzy Mandrill talking to the bank steward. Ultimately, he gets frustrated and snaps his walking stick in half. Once he has walked off, talk to the bank steward, Brittany. Say that you want to retrieve some items from the safe deposit box. You get allowed into check the safe deposit box. However, upon searching through the safe, you find just junk.

 

You get interrupted by a man disguised as Guybrush who has come to steal the Marley chest, and this leaves you with a tricky situation - you're trapped in the vault. All is not lost though, there are some items in the vault you can use to escape. Pick up the medium and large spounge, the tissue, and sword. Look inside the 'empty' safe of the late Marley. There is a music box (which you can use to distract Deadeye Dave once you get out of the vault) and a bottle of grog behind it. Underneath the handkerchief is a small spounge you need to pick up also.

Break off the bottom hinge with the sword. This will break the sword too though but you can use it to widen the crack where the bottom hinge used to be. Now the gap is larger, put all of the sponges into the gap. Now pour the grog onto the sponges. The door creaks open so much that the top hinge breaks off and you are free from the vault. However, not for long as you are then framed for the robbery by the no nose bandit and put under house arrest. Show Inspector Canard the handkerchief. Even though he tells you the bandits name, Pegnose Pete, he shows how it does not help prove Guybrush's case of innocence.

You need three things to prove Guybrush's innocence:

1) New evidence
2) Stolen bank loot
3) Real criminal brought to justice

In the meantime, head back to the Palace of Prostheses and place the music box down next to the file retrieval system controls and play it so as to distract Deadeye Dave. Go and pick up the wooden hand straight away as the music box stops playing after a few seconds. Now you have the wooden hand, go back to the Bait Shoppe and use it to attract the termits. Once you have the termites on the wooden arm, go to the House of Sticks. There you find a certain Mr. Mandrill picking up his new walking stick. But in doing so, he leaves behind a pile of sawdust. Combine the sawdust with your home made perfume (however, the smell still doesn't remind the perfume seller of anyone). Talk to Freddie about Pegnose Pete. In doing so, you find out he is afraid of ducks and that he is rumoured to have a hideout in marsh otherwise known as the Mystes O' Tyme, situated north of Lucre town.

Head up towards the marshy waters. At this moment in time, don't get on the raft as you don't know whereabouts Pegnose Pete is hiding. Instead, take your perfume spritzer out of your inventory and put some of the marshy water in it so that you now have 'swamp scented perfume'. Now go back to see if it rings any bells with the perfume seller. It still doesn't remind him of anyone.

Now go to Mr Mandrill's house down to the west of the island. In front of the fountain, there is a small flower. Pick up the flower and combine it with your home made perfume. Still no luck with the perfume seller though!

Go to Lucre Bank. Put the prosthetic skin down in place of the manhole cover so that it turns into a trampoline of sorts. Pick up the manhole cover. Now jump into the bank through the upstairs window. Pick up the tupperware box on the desk next to the door. Now turn on the lights by pulling on the pull-chain. This will reveal a silhouette of a nose on the first floor of the bank. Walk over there and pick up the prosthetic nose of Pegnose Pete. Inspector Canard enters the bank and takes the nose as evidence for his 'investigation'.

Head into Ozzie Mandrill's house and challenge him to an insult swordfight. However, no matter how hard you try, he always has a response for your initial insult and for some reason Guybrush has only rubbishy comebacks which he can't build on to throw back at Ozzie Mandrill. However there is a way for him to break his cane again.

Spray the Eau De LeChuck perfume on the platypus rug where he rests his feet. This will get him angry, break the cane and need to get a new one. Upon leaving Ozzie's house, you notice that he does not have his new cane on him. In turn, head back to the House of Sticks and use the termites on his new cane. He will leave a trail of sawdust in his tracks. Before you can further question Ozzie Mandrill about his evil plans, you need to find Pegnose Pete.

Now to do a few minor things in the meantime... Combine all the prosthetic pieces you picked up off Deadeye Dave and you will be left with an 'abomination of nature' that looks like this:

Once you have done this, go back to the Bait Shoppe and pick up another bit of free bait and pop it in the tupperware container.

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From Lucre Bank, follow the path down to the dock where you will find Senor Santos Castaneda and 'Lardbutt the Pirate' playing an intense game of chess. You find out that Senor Santos Castaneda has a crush on Brittany, the bank assistant who has recently been fired. Go up to tell Brittany that he has a crush on him. No surprises there, Brittany just thinks he spends too much time playing chess. You need to distract 'Lardbutt' as he is the one who is the least paying attention to the game. Just keep saying there are things on his shoulder or there's a three headed monkey behind him about three or four times and he will accidentally move a piece on the board. Do the same with Santos. Now they are arguing amongst themselves, pick up the clock. Now you have the clock, go up to the marsh and place it on the raft. This will be your navigation for going through the marsh to find Pegnose Pete's hideout. However, you still need the map.

 

Remember that perfume that you've made using the bait, marshy water, sawdust and flower? Well go back to the Palace of Prostheses and spray it on Deadeye Dave. He lets known that the smell is that of a certain Ulysses F. Toughguy, or Pegnose Pete, who lives in the marshy lands. The map to get to his hideout is in the file system but the only way to get it is to turn the dials to the right configuration so as to retrieve it from their system.

To work out the system, I figured out a way to find out what image relates to what letters of the alphabet. As there are 5 different images on the controls, you'd imagine the alphabet to be divided into 5 sections as a result. The code is below:

Three bunnies = Adeline A Apricot
Three trees = Eric G. FongDaiGawSmack
Three pumpkins = Jefferey J Jumper
Three monkeys = Nathanial O. Surge
Three bananas = Xylophone Y. Zimmerman

Therefore, if we go from these, Bunnies resemble letters A - D, Trees resemble E - I, Pumpkins resemble J - M, Monkeys resemble N - S, and Bananas resemble T - Z

In turn, if we were to take this as gospel, so to speak, then we can use this system to find out Pegnose Pete's (or Ulysses F. Toughguy in this case) map to his hideout. If we use this system then, the code we need to enter into the system is Banana - Tree - Banana

Now we have finally got the directions to Pegnose Pete's house. They are as follows

Once you are on the raft, you need to go in the direction shown relating to whichever time is shown on the clock in the bottom right hand corner. So in my game, as I'm not sure it differs from game to game or from one attempt to another, I went as follows:

East (1:40) - North (12:50) - West (1:55) - South (2:45) (At this point you see a future Guybrush who gives you a key, a rubber chicken, a pistol, and, once you open the gate, a rope) - East (12:15) - East (3:25) (At this point, you are the future Guybrush and you see another Guybrush - now give him the same items previous Guybrush gave you - Respond with 'You'll see soon enough. Could you be a sport and help yourself through the gate now?' and say the number 'Twelve'  - the key, rubber chicken, pistol and rope) - South (3:55) - South (12:35)

 

If you followed these instructions to the dot, then you will reach Pegnose Pete's hideout. Quaint. If you go towards the house, you can hear voices. It is Pegnose Pete talking to Ozzie Mandrill about getting money for looting Lucre Bank. Once they have finished talking and Ozzie has gone back to his creepy mansion, take the chicken grease out of your inventory and put it on the welcome mat outside Pegnose's front door. Now go round the side of his house and put the duck through the window to scare him. He runs out the door, slips on the mat and falls into his own wooden trap.

Now you are back with Inspector Canard who says that you still need to prove Pegnose Pete committed the crime of robbing Lucre Bank, and, to do that you need to find his hidden cave! But first, head to Ozzie Mandrill's house and say that you know about him and Pegnose Pete working together to frame Guybrush. However, he too doesn't believe you know about their plot until you find the loot too. Nonetheless, keep pestering him and when he asks what Pegnose Pete's Booty Showcase loot looked like, answer by saying 'It's very nice. Lots of booty'. Ozzie Mandrill heads off to the hidden cave and leaves a trail of sawdust behind as a result of the termites eating their way through the walking stick. Head outside the house and you will find a route marked by the sawdust markings that lead right to Pegnose Pete's hidden cave.

You are shown to a small alcove in a beach with a few mountains in the backdrop. Ozzie faces the camera and exclaims how this Ultimate Insult business has left him 'uncharacteristically baffled'. Follow the path around until you find a hidden passage underneath the beach. Climb down it and you will be welcomed by a bar-esque setting. There is a red button on the front of the table. Press it. You uncover the safe where the loot and Marley family heirlooms are being kept - behind reinforced glass!

Take out the manhole cover and throw it at the glass. It hits the glass but no matter how many times it doesn't break it! Head back outside the cave and dive into the deep water to the right. Make sure that you have some bait in the tupperware container so as to attract the luminous fish so as to make some form of light so that Guybrush can navigate his way around undersea.

Once you have the lumious fish trapped in the tupperware container, walk towards the 'secret door' which will lead you into where the Marley heirlooms and other loot Pegnose Pete stole. Pick up the loot upon doing so, a tiny screw falls out - a screw that can place Pegnose Pete at the scene of the crime and in committing the crime itself. Now you have all the resources you need to clear Guybrush's name from Inspector Canard's 'Wanted List'.

Head back to the prison and show Inspector Canard what you found in the cave.

The screw fits!

Pegnose Pete gets accused of committing the robbery, then escapes custody, Guybrush gets freed of his anklet and then the Dainty Lady sets sail back to Melee Island.

Cutscene to Charles L. Charles having a 23% lead in the poll and then interrupting Guybrush's extensive re-cap on his experiences on Lucre Island to break the news that he is really LeChuck!

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Part II - Enter the Manatee

Guybrush gets tasked by Elaine to stop Ozzie Mandrill and LeChuck getting their hands on the Ultimate Insult.

What is an Ultimate Insult?
Go to the voodoo lady and ask her about the Ultimate Insult. She exclaims how it is the fiercest of insult spoken in an ancient, forgotten tongue that results in pirates or those who encounter such an insult turning into ego-less mass of goo...  She carries on to say how it is spoken in a language so ancient - a primal language - that it has the power to speak to heart of a person's soul and mock it into oblivion.

Where is an Ultimate Insult?
Pieces of Ultimate Insult need to be put together. These pieces you can find on one island - not Monkey Island apparently - it is lost to the 'vagueries of time'

Show the Voodoo Lady the Marley heirlooms. This will reveal a pair of earrings, a necklace, a pen on a chain, and a fourth wedding gift that cannot be conjured from the chest. You will need to find this 'something blue' on Melee Island. The Voodoo Lady claims that you need to find the woman who wore the earrings in order to find what they mean. Remember how the figurehead on the front of the Dainty Lady had ear-piercings? Put the earrings and necklace on the figurehead of the ship down at the dockyard. This will lead to the figurehead being able to talk. At the moment, she's not in a very talkative mood so come back later once you've found the fourth wedding present.

If you head past the grog machine, you see there is a quearter in the change return slot. Pick it up and buy a grog. The quarter gets jammed, so kick, shake, punch and yell at the grog machine until it releases a load of cans.

Go up to Meathook's House of Wax - it is now open for business! Talk to Meathook. You can have a comedy opening exchange with him by saying 'They can't kill me - I've got a five game contract' to which Meathook moans 'All I get is extended cameos'.

Meathook mentions how Grandpa Marley commissioned him to paint a map of the Tri-Island area of which he then had to cover up by painting a landscape over the top of it. Once you find this out, head back to where the Scumm Bar used to be! It is now turned into LuaBar - a sushi bar!

Head to the left and pick up the pair of chopsticks on the table. Now head up to the top part of the restaurant and talk to the patron. He tells you that the 'Flaming Skuttlefish' is the thing to get off the menu. Keep this in mind! Take a seat on the lower part of the restaurant and order the flaming skuttlefish off of the waitress. You need to somehow make the mechanism stop so that the flaming skuttlefish stops right underneath the wax painting. If you use the chopsticks, they just snap in half and you can't use the pen on chain as it's not sturdy enough.

Go back up to Meathook. The bucket with a paintbrush in got moved to the left hand side of Meathook. Pick the paintbrush up. Now head back to the LuaBar. Re-order the flaming skuttlefish and now use the paintbrush to stop the mechanism. Now 'jam paint brush into sushi boat propulsion mechanism' just after the ship goes past the pillar. This can get frustrating as if you're a millisecond out then it doesn't work. Even when the flaming ship is underneath the painting, the chef comes out and pulls out the paintbrush. You need to get rid of the chef somehow.

To do so, stick the paint brush in the mechanism, and when he comes out to fix the system, go into the kitchen and pour grog into the generator next to the stove. This will cause the monkeys working the generator to slow down and ultimately stop. To make this ultimately work, you need the flaming skuttlefish ship to be underneath the painting before you go into the kitchen and pour the grog into the generator.

You now have the map of the entire Tri-Island Area from Meathook's 'blue period' - the fourth piece of the puzzle you needed. Pick up the paintbrush on your way out. Head back to Meathook's House of Wax where he tells you that the canvas he painted the map on was a 'special voodoo canvas'.

Now head down to the docks and hand the blue painting to the figure head of the Dainty Lady. Now give the pen on a chain to the figure head and it will guide you to where you need to go to find the parts of the Ultimate Insult!

It shows up as a cross across to Jambalaya Island - the home of the Ultimate Insult, along with a drawing on the back as to the items needed to create the Ultimate Insult.

Cue cutscene to Elaine asking for the gubanatorial symbol back so as to help her re-election campaign, and for the Dainty Lady to sail across the Tri-Island Area and land on Jumbalaya Island.

END OF DISC ONE

Now we have reached the end of disc one of 'Escape From Monkey Island', we will continue onto Part 2 of my walkthrough on the next blog. Hope you are enjoying the walkthrough so far and see you on the other side my Guybrush Threepwood loving gamers

Jonathan Whitehead